Back from the two week honeymoon in the Orkneys, still in wedded bliss, when I open the first letter from HMG - "we care for you":
National Identity Registry
Dear Mr Patterson or heirs,
Your death has been reported.
Date: 2/7/2016 Cause of death: Other (Nished as a Pewt, Tying the Knot).
If case of error please contact the nearest death processing centre (see http://www.nir.gov.uk/offices/dpc/ to locate the centre closest to you) in the next five (5) working days with your ID card and valid doctor's certificate. For security reasons we have notified your banks, employer of record and all government agencies of your death.
My mind spinning, I open the other letter from HMG - the one that will explain that the previous letter was sent in error
National Identity Registry
Dear Mr Patterson,
Your recent update to the National Identity Registry was rejected due to conflict with previous status. On 3/7/2016 we were notified of your death on 2/7/2016. On 5/7/2016 we received the erroneous notification that you had 1) married on 3/7/2016 2) changed address Note that due to ID fraud issues, death is an irrevocable act, attempting to update the records of a dead person is a crime under section 3 of the National Identity Act 2012. Contact the nearest death processing centre (see http://www.nir.gov.uk/offices/dpc/ to locate the centre closest to you) for rectification.
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