L'Ombre de l'Olivier

The Shadow of the Olive Tree

being the maunderings of an Englishman on the Côte d'Azur

29 June 2006 Blog Home : June 2006 : Permalink

France Telecom Customer "Service"

The question I have of any French readers is what is the French for "Catch 22"? If there isn't one then I suggest that it be Catch Dix Treize (1013)" because 1013 is the number to call France Telecom for "Service Apr├Ęs Vente". As the phone bill helpfully informs you this is an "appel gratuit de votre ligne" (Free call from your line). So what happens when FT have clobbered your line? how do you call them? 1013 doesn't work from mobiles (at least I don't think it does, it didn't work from mine) and there is no other number on offer.

Obviously the solution is to talk to your neighbour and ask to use his line to call. At which point you spend something like 20 minutes on hold waiting for the customer service rep to finisher her cigarette and coffee and deign to answer a call. When you finally get the rep on the line she asks some silly questions like what line this call is about (you already tapped this in earlier) and who is the "owner" of the line before getting around to confirming with a few keyboard taps and a "diagnostique" that yes indeed your line has, for reasons unexplained, gone titsup.fr and that a "technicien" will be dispatched at some pace slower than a snail to restore it to full working order. I am informed that "Normalement" - that great word used by builders, plumbers, car mechaniques and the like to mean "usually but not in this case" - the line will be in service some time later today.

My neighbour told me that he expected me back after lunch to make the follow up call and ask why the line was still not in service and once I have posted this I shall take him up on the offer.

PS Bizarre factoid, the ADSL service that uses the exact same copper is working fine and which explains how I am able to post this blog entry.

I despise l'Escroc and Vile Pin